You are not alone
by Alexane182
Summary: Tony is worried about Ziva's behaviour.


Tony was worried. He could tell that Ziva hadn't been herself since they flew back from Berlin nearly a month ago. They came close to Bodnar, really close, so he figured that Ziva's mood was due to that. But something was wrong. He couldn't figure out what, and he had to face it, he was scared to ask. Ziva was quiet, no, she was silent.

When Tony decided to face her and ask her what was wrong, like a partner should, at least to try to make her feel better. A little after noon, she left her desk and went to the bathroom. Tony wanted to follow her but at the same time he felt awkward entering the women's bathroom. Ziva had been in the men's room but it seemed so weird for him to go there. After a few seconds of inside deliberation, he decided to put his non-so-life-threathing questions aside and go.

As he approched the door, he heard light sobs comming from inside the bathroom. Forgeting everything, he entered to find Ziva, _his_ Ziva, in tears. In a matter of hiding the redness of her face, she was splashing water in her face. He approched her slowly. He thought that she would step away from him, but surprisingly, she didn't. She took refuge in Tony's arms, just as a little girl who is scared from thunder, taking cover in her father's arms. Tony didn't expect that. They were a lot closer since Berlin, they shared a bed, a room, and so many emotions. But that was knew. In Berlin, Ziva wasn't easy to live with, she was hunting, she was seeking revenge, vandetta. But now, she was there in his arms, fragile, vulnerable, and broken.

After a while, she seemed to remember that they were at work and that Gibbs might remember that they weren't working, when they were supposed to. He looked at her in the eye and soflty kissed her on the forehead. They returned to work, while Ziva seemed fine enough to go back to work, Tony was even more worried than before he walked in the bathroom.

The day passed and Ziva left to go home, leaving Tony and Gibbs alone in the squad room. Gibbs seemed surprised. He asked him why the heck he wasn't with Ziva. Tony mumbled an answer and Gibbs told him that he wasn't even worth a headslap.

It was all Tony waited for. He rushed out. Not even stopping to get something to eat, he went to Ziva's place. She didn't answer, or maybe she wasn't there. He called McGee and asked him to track Ziva's cell. He didn't argue, McGee felt like it was the good thing to do. Tony's voice seemed worried and McGee, didn't know all the details about what happend in Berlin but he knew enough not to ask questions. Giving the adress to Tony, he thought of his not-so-secret love, Abby, he knew he would have to tell her about his feelings sooner or later. Tony drove to the adress McGee had given him. He should have though of it. The nearest synaguogue. He remembered that time when Eli had escaped the not-so-safe house and where Ziva's ex-coworker, Amir Hadar died. She had told him that the hebrew word for synaguogue was beit knesset. Beit: house as he recalled. Home. So this was where Ziva took refuge when she needed it. That was the closest she could get to her homeland.

He didn't hesitate that time. He walked in. Ziva was singing what he assumed was a prayer. It was truly beautiful and tony was moved by the beauty of Ziva's voice. He knew that her sister sang Puccini, but for some reason, he never imagined Ziva sing. He waited for her to finish, he didn't want to interrupt her reflexion. She knew he was there, she felt it, but she could also smell him, they had a rough day and he obviously didn't take the time to shower.

Ziva knew that he wasn't going to ask. But she didn't want to make the first step. They walked out of the temple and Tony brought her back to his place. Ziva started to apologize for crying earlier. What's wrong ? Tony asked. Ziva almost said she was fine. But she wasn't. She was a bit incoherent at first but Tony understood that she was feeling like she was betraying her home land, even if she was now a true american and that she technically broke all ties to Israel, she was jewish, and she would never forget that. She grew up with Bodnar, she even thought she liked him at some point. Forgeting that he was responsible for her father's death, Eli would have been happy if they got married. She grew up hating Kazmi. All she thought was wrong. Bodnar was bad and Kazmi was good. But that was the past. As a mossad officer she had killed ennemies of Israel, as an NCIS agent, she was supposed to arrest, of kill, anyone threatening the United States. Now she had to kill a traitor of Israel, and an ennemy of the United States. And yet, it didn't feel right. At all. She was second guessing herself. And couldn't understand why. Yes, she wanted to kill Bodnar, make him pay for betraying her people, her father and in a certain way, herself. But she didn't want to make him a martyr, she wanted him to suffer. She was confused. When she finished her monologue, Tony stayed silent. He didn't know what to say.

Then, for the first time, she reached his lips. Softly, lovingly and fondly, she engaged a kiss. I wasn't the first time they kissed, but it was the first time that Ziva took the initiative. For her, all that mattered was that he was there for her. He had always been and she was starting to understand that.

Word count: 996 words


End file.
